Where to go on a date
The place matters more than it seems. It decides how long you'll be there, whether you'll have to talk the whole time, and how easily you can leave if it isn't working. Here are the formats and who each one suits.
Five kinds of first meeting
We offer exactly five, and the list isn't arbitrary – each one answers a different worry.
- Coffee – the usual choice. An hour, inexpensive, and you can end it at any point without explaining yourself.
- A walk – for anyone who finds sitting face to face and holding eye contact hard. Walking side by side is easier than looking someone in the eye.
- An activity: an exhibition, a skating rink, a workshop. There's something to talk about besides yourselves – a relief if you're afraid of being boring.
- Dinner – better as a second or third date. Don't make it the first: two hours at a table is a commitment.
- A video call – when the distance is long or meeting in person still feels like too much. It counts as a real date.
How the AI picks a place
Not at random and not from a list of popular venues. Before proposing anything, it checks what you both put in your profiles.
- No bar for someone who doesn't drink, and nothing built around alcohol for anyone who marked it as a dealbreaker.
- Interests are matched: if you both listed exhibitions, that's where the date goes, rather than yet another café.
- Dealbreakers are avoided – whatever you can't stand never makes it into the proposal.
- Budget counts: the venue won't be pricier than either of you is comfortable with.
- The venue is in the city where you're meeting. No landmarks from somewhere else will show up in the invitation.
Why the first meeting is short
An hour or so isn't stinginess, it's consideration. A short meeting is easier to say yes to, because it doesn't look like signing away your evening. It isn't frightening to end if there's no spark. And it's more honest – an hour is enough to tell whether you want more, while three hours of politeness tell you nothing. If it's going well, you'll stay longer because you want to, not because it was scheduled that way.
Common questions
Where should I go if new people are hard for me?
Somewhere with an activity built in: an exhibition, a film you can discuss afterwards, a walk with an actual route. The worst option is a loud bar where you have to shout over the music and never stop talking.
What if I don't drink?
Note it in your profile and bars won't come up. You won't have to decline or explain on the spot – the AI sees the answer before it picks anywhere.
Is meeting at someone's home all right?
Not for a first date. A public place is a basic precaution, and anyone offended by it has told you everything you need to know.
Can I suggest my own place?
Yes. The AI's proposal is a draft, not an order: the place, time and format can be edited before it's sent, and the other person can reply with a counter-offer.
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